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Have you ever wanted something so much it pained you to think of settling for anything less, but no matter how hard you tried the goal just kept slipping away? I feel like I’m in a situation like that right now.

Why does the only thing that I really find meaningful have to be so difficult? I’m currently enrolled in a class that is probably one of the most difficult offered in the department, but is also the one I am interested in more than any other.

“This is what it’s all about,” I thought in the first lecture. “This is why I’m here.”

If anything this is the class that will make me or break me. I’m staring at the first assignment of the semester now. One question I don’t understand but I know that I should by now (and therefore, I will probably be able to figure out by the due date). Another sounds over my head, but two other’s I’ve been able to solve with a little help from Google and Maple (I’m never going to go another integral by hand again).

In terms of my education, I’ve never wanted anything more. This semester will probably be more soul-crushing than my previous bouts with Classical Mechanics and Partial Differential Equations. I passed those… I hope I can pass this one as well.

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