1. Begin arbitrary terrorist attacks.
  2. Have a mutiny plot to overturn the President and seize power.
  3. Have assassination attempt on the President, possibly related to above plot to take power.
  4. In the process of addressing the terrorist threat, Jack must say “There’s not enough time for that!” and disobey orders to do something his way, probably resisting arrest.
  5. Have Jack arrested again, which he will either talk or punch his way out of, yelling “You’ll just have to trust me!” the whole time.
  6. Terrorist is killed during interrogation, uttering only a few useless words, which Chloe will turn into a set of entire life histories of some other terrorist cell.
  7. Moving any prisoner/witness to “a safe location” results in escape/kidnapping of said prisoner/witness
  8. Terrorists kidnap a member of the Bauer family.
  9. Replace head of CTU for no apparent reason, even if (especially if) it’s 4 in the morning during a crisis. Current head of CTU acts shocked and protests, even if they knew they were being replaced for the last few hours.
  10. Terrorists plan an attack on an anonymous target, i.e. CTU.
  11. Replace the replacement head of CTU, repeat as necessary
  12. Save the kidnapped Bauer, transport them to safe location (see point 7).
  13. Just when we think we know what’s going on, who the terrorists are, and they’re about to be apprehended, show lead terrorist guy on the phone taking orders from some random other guy of a different and completely unrelated terrorist group.
  14. Repeat above steps as necessary until end of season.
Random FAQ Comments (3)

3 Responses to “Recipe for a season of 24”

  1. Steve says:

    A few things to add:

    - Have Jack phone Chloe and get her to do hack into some government server to retrieve/block information secretly, with nobody monitoring her computer use or overhearing her conversation
    - Have some technical problem come up that only Chloe can solve after she’s caught being insubordinate
    - Have Curtis get shot in some non-lethal way
    - Have someone new working at CTU be a secret informant for a terrorist group
    - Have the President plan some evil scheme and move about freely with between zero and two secret service agents around (even after a national emergency has been declared)
    - Have nobody go to the bathroom, eat or smoke for 24 hours
    - Have everyone repeat the blindingly obvious every five minutes
    - Have terrorists flawlessly execute at least three late-night attacks to deal with situations they could not have predicted more than an hour in advance
    - Have people recover from serious life-threatening injuries within two hours
    - Have bureaucrats check in with each other every five minutes to report nothing new
    - Conduct general staff meetings at CTU, pulling people from their stations, to tell them something that could have been explained with a 20-second speech on the floor

    I could go on…

  2. Anita says:

    Don’t forget the per-episode quota of racial stereotypes!

  3. GP says:

    But it’s okay that muslims are portrayed as terrorists because (point 13), it always turns out that they’re actually taking orders from someone else, like the Russians, so really muslims are just thugs for hire. And then of course the Russians are working for somebody in the whitehouse, who’s working for the Chinese, who are working for the British trying to re-conquer the US. Or maybe that was South Park. (Most accurate spoof ever.)

Leave a Reply