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The buses in Vancouver don’t like me.

I think it’s because they found out that I think they look like crickets and they got insulted. So listen up Vancouver City Buses: I don’t mean it as a bad thing. I think you’re cute.

A lot of the buses around here are trolly type contraptions which run on electrical lines suspended above the street. The connection is made by two long bars which come out of the top of the bus and sweep backwards, much like a cricket’s antenna. Plus, the buses are blue, which makes the similarity to Mulan’s Cri-Kee that much more striking.

I guess the problem lies more with my not having a good feel for the system here yet. My first problem was that, though the same two buses go down the same street, they may not stop at the same places. It’s rather unfortunate when you’re forced to make a bet about whether the 99 or the 17 is going to arrive first, because the half block sprint to the other stop if you’re wrong isn’t that practical (and highly embarrassing). Then, there’s the additional problem that two buses with the same number may not actually go to the same place. It’s Nagasaki all over again — “So, you can take any #40 home, and most #20′s, but whatever you do do not get on the #20 with the boxy looking character next to the one that looks like a person standing next to a tree.”

Nonetheless, just when I think I know what’s going on, at least four times now I’ve been standing at my bus stop (with the correct route number on the sign) and watched the correct bus (with all the right words on the sign as well as the right number) go swooshing past without the tiniest hint of stopping to pick me up.

So lest you continue to snub me, Vancouver trolly buses, I would like to apologise once again for caling you crickets, though I hope you will realise that I meant it as a compliment. Please let all your other bus friends know that they can stop to pick me up again.

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