Three o’clock. Three o’clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. An off moment in the afternoon. Today it is intolerable.
– from Nausea, by Jean-Paul Sartre
How true it is. This afternoon at three o’clock I was definitely not doing anything I wanted to do—that was about the time I hit the 30 minute mark in the Hour of Power, which from that point forward became the worst erg piece I’ve ever pulled. Though that’s not quite the same feeling of Nausea that Sartre was talking about.
I think my Existentialism professor would be, not disappointed, but slightly uncomfortable, with how I’ve taken to the class. No, I haven’t latched on to everything said by Sartre, Heidegger, de Beauvoir, Fanon, or Camus, but a lot of what existentialism talks about is very seductive. I’ve written that already. The evidence is that, when having conversations that start to draw on philosophy, I start to draw on arguments made by those philosophers. It happened the other day standing in line at Tim Hortons, when the topic turned to racism, and I found myself referencing Fanon. When discussing sexual identity, I tend to think of bad faith. I’ve even used the term “bad faith” in a conversation by accident, and ended up accomplishing nothing but confusing the other person. Oh dear.
Though I must admit, it’s been happening with my other philosophy class as well. Logic and mathematics. Alarm bells still go on whenever someone says “concept”, and I’m getting very particular about defining what exactly the assumptions going into a problem are.
We’re now four days into the exam period. My first and only exam isn’t until the 19th, though in the meantime I have one take home exam (which is much like a 10 page paper) and an astrophysics paper to write. One of these days I’ll start working on them. With proper time management, there’s no reason for me to be in any stress at all this month. Yet, I still always find myself at three o’clock, too late to still be sitting around in pajamas. Too early for the evening workout. Too little time in between to do any work. Hopefully monday, when 7 AM workouts become part of the schedule again, I’ll be able to handle that particular form of nausea a little better.