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By tomorrow afternoon I will no longer be a Montrealer. My transcript doesn’t quite say “graduated” yet, or whatever it is transcripts are supposed to say at this point, but all the appropriate boxes under the “Recommendations” heading say “yes” and faculty approval is pending. It’s as good as done. Never mind the fact that I got my grad school acceptances months ago…

The fact that I’m moving didn’t settle in until I took all the art, posters, and calendars off the walls. While half the floor is two or three feet deep in junk, everything at about eye level is boring blank white. That was the trigger. This doesn’t feel like my home anymore.

The rest of the job has just been rearranging the junk on the floor into more manageable piles. It was funny how simply dumping out a full drawer and rearranging everything would suddenly free up half the space. Everything could be laid out nicely in its place, in roughly a single layer along the bottom no less. “Nice”, I thought, “now I’ll actually be able to find stuff in there”. But then it occurred to me that with all that extra space, I could just cram more stuff in. Which is exactly what I did. So now the drawer is just as full but twice as heavy, and solidly packed so you can’t actually move anything aside to get at something underneath.

I also put all my textbooks into the same box.

Now at the same time this doesn’t feel different from any other May. I’ve never spent the summer in Montreal, so packing up my stuff at the end of the winter semester is nothing new. I wonder if moving to grad school will feel any different from coming back to McGill. A new school, sure, but functionally I don’t know if much will change. More of the part I like, at least, and less of the stuff I don’t. That’s really all I can ask. That’s really all I’m aiming for.

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